Twisted Christmas Carols: DBZ Style!
by Maverick and unknown
Summary: Heylo peoples! This is a one story collection of my twisted christmas songs for DBZ, includes "Walking Round in Women's Underwear," "The Twelve Pains of Christmas DBZ Style," and "Freezer's Coming to Town!" More to come! *SS*
1. Give Bulma back her underwear you freak!...

A/N: Sugar High! Yamcha bashing at it's best for Christmas! Oh well just read it and you'll see what I mean! Special thanks to pyro freak and megami_juhachigou (who called it "Funny as Fuck!) for making me post this! I didn't think it was good since I wrote it in about 20 minutes!

Woman's Underwear

A song by Yamcha to annoy Vegeta and give humor to countless others

Sing to the tune of Winter Wonderland

Lacy things, your wife is missin,

Didn't ask for, her permission,

I'm wearing her clothes,

Her silk panty hose,

Walkin around in women's underwear!

In the capsule, there's a thong,

On a girl, it's just wrong,

It holds me so tight, 

Just like Marron last night,

Walkin around in women's underwear!

In the Z-gang there's a guy named Choazu,

He pretends, that I am Oolong in a gown,

He'll say "Let's go stripping tonight," and I'll say "whoa man!"

"Let's wait until my boyfriend Chibi Usa's outta town!

Later on, if you think, 

We can dress, like N*sync!

Get into your air car,

Come down to the gay bar, and go

Walkin around in women's underwear!

Sparkly things, we wearing,

Condoms, we be carryin,

We're swinging tonight,

Yall be there right? Cause we'll be

Walkin around in women's underwear!

Walkin around in women's underwear!

Walkin around in women's underwear!

This song was based on _Walkin around in Women's Underwear_ by Bob Rivers from the album _Twisted Chistmas_. Both of which I don't own. I wrote this to bash Yamcha not gay people so please don't be offended. I have many friends who are gay. Swinging if you don't know…is swapping sexual partners…then again you should be at least 13 to be reading this! So wadaya think? R/R please! 


	2. Damn this! Fuck Christmas! Not literally...

A/N: hehehe SUGAR HIGH!!! Another weird Christmas Carol!

The Twelve Pains of Christmas: DBZ Style!

To be sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

The first thing about Christmas that's such a pain to me: 

Goku: is finding a Christmas tree!

****

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Choazu: Putting up the lights!

Goku: And finding a Christmas tree!

****

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Puar: Yamcha's boyfriends are drunk!

Chaozu: Putting up the lights!

Goku: and finding a Christmas Tree! Where the fuck are they?

****

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Bulma: Office Christmas parties!

Puar: Yamcha's boyfriends are stripping? For me?

Chaozu: Putting up--- *gets buried by tangled lights*

Goku: and finding a fucking Christmas tree! Does this planet have none?

****

The fifth thing a Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Krillen: Five months of bills! 

Bulma: Mom? Do we have to invite ALL of them?

Puar: Do I even know you people?

Choazu: I have to put all of these up in the palace?!!!

Goku: And finding a Christmas Tree! What? There are NONE? FUCK!

****

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Tien: Facing that gay ass Yamcha!

Krillen: Five months of bills! *Sees 18 buying something else* Oh no! I'm broke!

Bulma: Do we even know half these people?

Puar: No! I am not going to strip for you! I am a cat-thing!

Choazu: Fuck the stupid lights! Fuck Christmas! I'm NOT putting them up!

Goku: And finding a Christmas tree! Damn! Maybe I can wish for one! *Runs off to find the dragonballs*

****

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Vegeta: Eating the onna's cooking!

Tien: I'm scared of him!

Krillen: No honey! We can't afford it!

Bulma: I'm the hostess?

Puar: Stomp humping me you gay asses! I am an it! Not a she and certainly not a he!

Chaozu: *grumbles* If Goku can put them up so can I!

Goku: and finding the dragon balls so I can get Chi-Chi a Christmas tree! 

****

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Chibi Goten, Trunks and Marron: DADDY!!! I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!!

Vegeta: What! Are you trying to poison me woman?

Tien: He'll make me dance for him!

Krillen: 18 give me back my credit cards!

Bulma: Why me?

Puar: Somebody give me a beer!

Chaozu: Kuso! Why are they blinking!

Goku: Where the fuck is Shenlong! I WANT MY WISH!!!!

****

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Oolong and Muten Roshi: Stupid TV specials!

Chibis: BUY ME SOMETHING!!!!

Vegeta: *Food blows up* Ahhh! Woman! You set my hair on fire!

Tien: I have to share a room with HIM??!!!

Krillen: Whadya mean they were denied??!!

Bulma: I'm still throwing a fucking Christmas party!

Puar: Hic! *To gay male stripper* How ya doing man?

Choazu: Shimmatta! I blew a fuse!

Goku: And finding a fucking Christmas tree! Arise Shenlong and grant my wish! NOW!!!

****

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Chi-Chi: Batteries not included!

O&MR: We want our porno!!! 

Chibis: I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Vegeta: I am NOT eating this!

Tien: I hope he doesn't bring the handcuffs!

Krillen: No! Don't cut them up!

Bulma: Don't make me go! Those stupid Smiths are going to be there!

Puar: All of us are drunk!

Choazu: I'm STILL putting up these stupid lights!

Goku: I wish for a Christmas tree! 

****

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Gohan: Dressing up!

Chi-Chi: I need batteries! For Gohan's study programs!

O&MR: Stupid Santa Claus! We want the girls!

Chibis: MOMMY!!! DADDY YELLED AT ME!!!

Vegeta: Get the blond bimbo to do it!

Tien: He's gonna hit on me I know it!

Krillen: Bills! Bills! Kami the bills! *Cries*

Bulma: I have to bring Vegeta??!!

Puar: Wanna go somewhere more private? *Hic*

Chaozu: Help me Tien!

Goku: I STILL NEED a Christmas tree Shenlong!

****

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

All: Singing stupid songs!

Gohan: Fuck this! Someone help me get these antlers off me head!

Chi-Chi: No batteries! Goku go wish for some batteries!

O&MR: The playboy channel is all infomercials??!!!!!

Chibis: I WANT A MR. SATAN DOLL!!!!

Vegeta: Hell! Kakkarot could cook better than this! 

Tien: There's ONLY ONE BED in that room??!! I'm fucked! Literally!

Krillen: I'm gonna be in debt for the rest of my life!

Bulma: Fuck it! Host your own Christmas party!

Puar: *Wakes up next to man* Ahhh!!! What did I do?

Choazu: Fuck this! I'm the emperor! You servants can put up the lights!

Goku: I'm still trying to find a Christmas tree!! *Lands next to his house which is surrounded by trees* There was one here all the time??!!

The End.

Hahahaha! This was based on the _Twelve Pains of Christmas_ by Bob Rivers. This was not meant to bash gay men or strippers or anything so please don't be offended. I was TRYING to be funny! R/R!!


	3. Run!!! Freezer's Singing!!!! (FCTT)

A/N: Another sugar high Christmas song! This time Freezer is back and he's after some "Monkeys!"

****

Freezer is Coming to Town!

To be sung to the tune of _Santa Claus is Coming to town!_

Oh, ya better not cry

Don't make a sound,

I don't care if you're nice,

Time to hide underground

Cause I am coming to town!

Checking my scouter,

It's so freaking exciting,

Gonna find out where you

Monkeys are hiding,

Cause I am coming to town!

I know with whom you're sleeping,

I know they make you pay!

You better give me all your presents,

Or I'll blast you all away!

Oh, you better believe,

I'm really not dead!

I don't want you presents,

All I want is your head,

Cause I am coming to town!

I don't want cookies,

Bulma made them; they're crud,

I like chocolate milk but

I really want your blood!

Cause I am coming to town!

(Insert sounds of blasting and screaming)

I don't trust anybody,

I killed the stupid reindeer,

Dancer was a good lay,

But that Rudolph was a queer!

Oh ya better not cry

Don't make a sound,

I don't care if you're nice,

Time to hide underground

Cause I am coming to town!

Whew! That was…..disturbing…. This was based on the song _Santa Claus is Wielding a Gun_. Dunno who wrote it though. Lol! R/R people!


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